And You Thought Your Friends Were Weird
by Evil Queen of the Demon Pandas
Summary: The Marauders have stumbled onto the Internet more importantly, instant messaging. Take four bored teenage boys, mix in an empty summer afternoon, and add a dash of AIM, and hilarity doth ensue. Short, cute, all for your enjoyment. Have fun. :3


**A/N:** My first Marauders fic! I do love them. And it should be noted that 1: yes, I am completely aware that it is highly unlike that all four (five, including Lily) of them would be able to get their hands on a computer and 2: the Internet wasn't even invented when they were alive. Oh, well. It's cute to imagine, hmm? Reviews always appreciated.

_lilysseeker signed on_

moony854: James?

lilysseeker: HI!!1!!111

moony854: Oh, God. --

lilysseeker: i figred out how 2 do tis! XD

moony854: James, do you even know how to type?

lilysseeker: 'type' was sat

lilysseeker?

moony854: That's what it's called when you hit the keys and letters appear on the screen.

lilysseeker: oh

lilysseeker: rite

moony854: CAN YOU PLEASE SPEAK ENGLISH?! 

lilysseeker: i am spiking English!

moony854: No, you're not. You're speaking what's known as "shorthand". It's when you leave out letters when you type.

lilysseeker: oh

lilysseeker: w3ll h0w !$ the!$?

moony854: Now you're speaking "l33t", or "leet". It's replacing letters with numbers and symbols. Try again.

lilysseeker: Like this?

moony854: YES. Thank you.

_godsgifttowomen signed on_

godsgifttowomen: WAAASSAAAPP!!

moony854: Not you, too.

lilysseeker: PADFOOT!

godsgifttowomen: pr0ng$! m! br0!

lilysseeker: OMG! You're speaking l33t AND shorthand! AT ONCE! 00

moony854: sarcasm Yes, Sirius. You are the master. --

godsgifttowomen: wet !s l33t? 0o

lilysseeker: It's what you are doing RIGHT NOW.

godsgifttowomen: HA i clod do it n did n0t 3v3n no

moony854: It's not a good thing, Sirius.

godsgifttowomen: y not it l00k$ AW3$0M3!

moony854: No, it doesn't. You look idiotic.

moony854: Women hate it.

godsgifttowomen: 0.0…I'll stop.

moony854: Good.

lilysseeker: So where r u Padfoot?

godsgifttowomen: My aunt's. Andromeda

godsgifttowomen: remember her?

lilysseeker: She's the one with the Morphamagus daughter? The one your fame hates?

godsgifttowomen: Yep.

lilysseeker: XD

lilysseeker: Why r u over there?

godsgifttowomen: helping Nymphadora with her DADA summer work

godsgifttowomen: also known as "getting the hell out of my house for a week"

lilysseeker: XD oh ok

moony854: Wait, wait, wait. _You're_ helping someone with homework? 0o

godsgifttowomen: I happen to be very good at DADA, thank u

moony854: If you say so…XD

_rattigan9 signed on_

lilysseeker: WORMTAIL!

godsgifttowomen: WORMTAIL!

moony854: Hey, Peter.

rattigan9: Hi.

lilysseeker: u don't speak l33t!

rattigan9: Er…0o

moony854: Ignore him, Wormtail. I am.

lilysseeker: thanks Moony! --

moony854: No problem.

godsgifttowomen: how's ur summer been, Wormtail?

rattigan9: Fine. I blew up our staircase this morning, though… . 

godsgifttowomen: XD!!

lilysseeker: …how? 0o

rattigan9: I was trying to levitate my mum's computer downstairs for her, but the magic screwed up the electricity and it blew up.

moony854: You should know by now that magic and Muggle electricity do not mix.

lilysseeker: what's electricity?

godsgifttowomen: isn't that like lightning?

moony854: Sort of. It's a bit like harnessed lightning that Muggles use to power those funny devices they have. We use magic instead.

lilysseeker: 00…sounds dangerous.

moony854: It's not, really. Electricity powers computers.

godsgifttowomen: what's a computer?

moony854: sigh -- The thing you're typing on right now.

godsgifttowomen: u mean this thing is dangerous? 00!

moony854: NO.

godsgifttowomen: IM GONNA DIE!!

lilysseeker: OMG! I CANT DIE! IM TOO PRETTY! AND I HAVENT DATED LILY YET!

rattigan9: Mum says it's not dangerous at all…

moony854: Your mum is right, Wormtail. They're just idiots.

_godsgifttowomen signed off_

_lilysseeker signed off_

rattigan9: Why did they leave?

moony854: They're chickens. They'll be back.

_potionsgoddess signed on_

potionsgoddess: Hi, Remus. Hi, Peter.

moony854: Hey, Lily.

rattigan9: Hi, Lily!

moony854: How's your summer been?

potionsgoddess: Tolerable. I've been resisting the urge to turn my sister purple for months. 

moony854: XD That bad, huh?

potionsgoddess: Yep. She's a Muggle, and she's completely jealous that I'm a witch. Unfortunately, her envy tends to manifest in violent and often devious ways. One day, my parents are going to see how horrible she is and let me cast a few good curses on her.

moony854: XD Can I watch?

lilysseeker: Sure.

rattigan9: Lily, just don't get yourself arrested.

potionsgoddess: Of course not. I would never do something so evil as to turn her pillow into a seething nest of cockroaches. Of course not. God no. : )

moony854: Very nice. XD

moony854: So you're of age?

potionsgoddess: Not yet, damn it. If I was, I'd have already cursed Petunia from here to Kazakhstan.

moony854: I could do it for you.

potionsgoddess: You're of age?

moony854: Last week.

potionsgoddess: Congrats. I've got a month left.

potionsgoddess: What about you, Peter?

rattigan9: Not until December.

potionsgoddess: That sucks.

_godsgifttowomen signed on_

_lilysseeker signed on_

lilysseeker: Mum says it's fine…

potionsgoddess: Please, Remus, for the love of Merlin, tell me that is not who I think it is.

moony854: It is. Unfortunately.

godsgifttowomen: my aunt says to shut up and stop worrying

moony854: I really am sorry about this, Lily.

potionsgoddess: groans Not him, too!

moony854: sigh Yes, him too.

godsgifttowomen: Hey, Evans. XD

moony854: Lily, unless you enjoy being accosted by a love-sick teenager and his brainless best mater, I suggest signing off…_quickly_.

potionsgoddess: Right.

lilysseeker: MOONY!!

godsgifttowomen: Moony, y do u have to screw with poor Prongs' life?

moony854: Because I'm a demon. You just can't tell. --

potionsgoddess: Remus, I'll talk to you later, okay?

moony854: Have a good summer. Try not to get yourself arrested for killing your sister.

potionsgoddess: XD Right, right. See you next year, Peter.

rattigan9: Bye, Lily!

potionsgoddess: …boys. Next year, I suppose?

godsgifttowomen: looks like it

lilysseeker: unless you want to do sum thing…?

potionsgoddess: Yeah…no. See you at school.

moony854: Later, Lily.

_potionsgoddess signed off_

lilysseeker: DAMN IT, MOONY!!1!

moony854: What did _I_ do? 0o

lilysseeker: u made her leave!

moony854: I did no such thing.

godsgifttowomen: u kinda did…

moony854: Shut it, Padfoot.

lilysseeker: I almost had her!

moony854: …no, you didn't.

lilysseeker: yes I did! Tell him Wormtail

rattigan9: Um…_actually_, James…

lilysseeker: DAMN IT WORMTAIL!!

godsgifttowomen: mate, u really should just give up on Evans. she's never going to go with u

lilysseeker: she will too. 1 day, we're going to get married and have a little black-haired green-eyed son

rattigan9: Why a boy?

lilysseeker: boys r cooler

lilysseeker: even Moony can agree with that

moony854: Girls have their uses, but yes. Boys are generally cooler.

moony854: Padfoot excepted, of course.

lilysseeker: of course

godsgifttowomen: HEY!

lilysseeker: ANYWAY.

moony854: Yes. Prongs was informing us of his wildly impossible dreams for the future.

godsgifttowomen: right. go ahead, Prongs

lilysseeker: AS I WAS SAYING…

lilysseeker: we r going to have a son, and he will b the best thing to ever happen 2 the wizarding world

lilysseeker: he'll go around destroying dark wizards and saving damsels and he will end up w/ a hot redhead just like his dad

godsgifttowomen: …what if he gets a blond?

lilysseeker: that'll b ok too

godsgifttowomen: ooo! I wanna b his godfather!

lilysseeker: of course, Padfoot

lilysseeker: so if me and Lily die, u take care of him

lilysseeker: just make sure he doesn't live with her sister. i hear she's a bitch

godsgifttowomen: right, mate

moony854: And I'll be the one to make sure Padfoot doesn't get himself or the kid killed

godsgifttowomen: mate, I'm never going to die

godsgifttowomen: I'm just too damn sexy

godsgifttowomen: that's like saying James is going to die

lilysseeker: yeh. mate, I plan on being around forever

godsgifttowomen: or saying Wormtail's going to go all murderer on our asses

rattigan9: I would never do that!

godsgifttowomen: see?

moony854: Fine. I'll be around to make sure you don't turn the kid into a crazy bastard like you.

lilysseeker: that works

godsgifttowomen: but I'm a DAMN SEXY crazy bastard

godsgifttowomen: OMG did I tell u I got a new motorcycle

moony854: Oh, God. --

lilysseeker: REALLY?!

rattigan9: That's wicked, Sirius!

godsgifttowomen: The bastard FLIES

lilysseeker: 00

lilysseeker: mate that's the most wicked thing I've heard all summer

lilysseeker: I'll b over tmrrw

godsgifttowomen: figured

rattigan9: Can I come see it?

godsgifttowomen: sure

godsgifttowomen: u got to make a few promises tho

rattigan9: …okay?

moony854: Watch what you get yourself into, Wormtail.

godsgifttowomen: 1) thou shalt not touch the motorcycle

godsgifttowomen: 2) thou shalt not breathe on the motorcycle

godsgifttowomen: 3) thou shalt not covet the motorcycle

godsgifttowomen: 4) thou shalt not ever betray the Marauders and plot our deaths 4 ur own benefit

rattigan9: I agree. To everything.

godsgifttowomen: then u can come c it

moony854: You sure you can keep all those, Wormtail? I expect number three is going to be rather difficult…

rattigan9: Of course I can!

lilysseeker: mate, what's up w/ #4?

godsgifttowomen: I dunno. I just felt like adding it

lilysseeker: that may be the only 1 he can actually keep

lilysseeker: I've already broken #3

moony854: Yeah, me too.

godsgifttowomen: GOOD LORD.

godsgifttowomen: wat about you, Wormtail?

rattigan9: …I plead the fifth. 

godsgifttowomen: well then ur all screwed, b cause I'm not letting u see it now

lilysseeker: 00…DAMN IT PADFOOT!!

moony854: Language, Prongs, language.

rattigan9: I'm sorry…

moony854: Don't apologise, Wormtail. Sirius is just a jackass.

godsgifttowomen: i am not! I'm a dog, remember? XD

moony854: That was hi-freakin'-larious, Padfoot.

lilysseeker: my mum says I have to go…

godsgifttowomen: but WHYYYY? we're having so much fun!

lilysseeker: i haven't done any of my summer work yet, and she just found all my blank rolls of parchment I hid under my bed

lilysseeker: moony…

moony854: No.

lilysseeker: ah, c'mon, moony!

godsgifttowomen: give the idiot a break

lilysseeker: Yeah! give the poor idiot a break

lilysseeker: i can't help it I'm stupid and lazy

moony854: Stupid, no. Lazy, yes.

lilysseeker: u already screwed up my love life, moony

moony854: You did that to yourself a long time ago, Prongs.

godsgifttowomen: u did sort of screw him over, mate

moony854: I did not!

moony854: It's irrelevant, anyway. I'm not doing your homework for you.

lilysseeker: pleeeeeeeeeeease?

moony854: No.

lilysseeker: pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasePLEEEEEEEEEASE?

moony854: NO.

lilysseeker: sigh FINE. . 

godsgifttowomen: it's not that bad, mate

lilysseeker: yes it is

godsgifttowomen: …

godsgifttowomen: ok yeah it is

lilysseeker: i'd better go. mum's pitching a fit

godsgifttowomen: see you later, Prongs

godsgifttowomen: come see the motorcycle soon

lilysseeker: if I ever get to leave my room again 

moony854: Hey, Prongs.

lilysseeker: what the hell do u want now, moony?

moony854: I was just going to _say_…

moony854: If an owl happens to show up with a Potions essay attached, let the damn thing in.

lilysseeker: Right.

rattigan9: Bye, James.

lilysseeker: Later, Wormtail.

_lilysseeker signed off_

godsgifttowomen: i'd better go finish my homework, too

moony854: You haven't done it, either?!

godsgifttowomen: hell no

godsgifttowomen: i got a motorcycle, mate

moony854: --

godsgifttowomen: i'll talk to u later, moony

godsgifttowomen: maybe next weekend u blokes can come see the bike

moony854: Yeh. Send me an owl.

rattigan9: Me, too?

godsgifttowomen: yeah, Wormtail. u 2

rattigan9:

godsgifttowomen: bye

_godsgifttowomen signed off_

moony854: I should probably go, too. I want to read over my Charms essay one more time.

rattigan9: Could you help me with mine?

moony854: Sure. Owl it to me.

rattigan9: Thanks.

moony854: No problem. XD

moony854: Talk to you later, Wormtail.

rattigan9: Bye!

_moony854 signed off_

_rattigan9 signed off_


End file.
